


Probably a Good Thing

by dirrrk



Category: Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency (TV 2016)
Genre: Brotzly - Freeform, Cute Domestic Shit, DGHDA Christmas Mini Bang, Fluff, M/M, christmas bang, dghda christmas bang, holiday fic, meet the parents
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-25
Updated: 2017-12-25
Packaged: 2019-02-20 11:15:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,498
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13145523
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dirrrk/pseuds/dirrrk
Summary: Dirk meets Todd's family. It's fine. Kind of.





	Probably a Good Thing

I did not proof read this. ENJOY! Check out the art by prose-n-scripts on tumblr!!!! 

-

“Todd, Todd, Todd,” chanted Dirk impatiently in his ear, fingers poking at his side.

“Dirk,” groaned Todd, refusing to open his eyes or roll over to face the annoyance that was Dirk Gently. “It's Sunday morning, let me sleep.”

“Todd, you have a text,” continued Dirk, fingers now wiggling underneath Todd's top to poke him more insistently.

“I don't give a shit,” replied Todd sourly.

“I have a feeling, a hunch if you will, that this is a text of the utmost importance. Perhaps, and this is very likely, the text will lead us to our next case, if not our next adventure.” Dirk had now slid his arm around Todd, draping his entire lanky body over Todd as he spoke with an excited urgency.

“You open it then, if you're so keen to know what it says,” said Todd, simple accepting that the other man had become a secondary blanket.

“I really don't think I ought to,” countered Dirk, now pushing said phone into Todd's sleepy, limp hands.

“Why?”

“It's from your mother.”

Todd stilled, body tensing at Dirk's words. “Ah, fuck,” he mumbled into his pillow.

-

Todd ignored the way that Dirk was staring at him, concentrating instead on pouring his coffee into his favourite, actually, his only, mug. He set the coffee pot back down, determinedly not looking into the wide, expectant eyes of the other man across the kitchen counter.

“Have you-”

“No,” interrupted Todd, staring down into the dark abyss in his mug.

“I really think-”

“Stop, Dirk.”

“But-”

“Dirk!”

Dirk fell silent, hands twisting around his own mug of tea, which was mostly milk and sugar.

“I'm sorry,” said Todd, shortly, rubbing at his face with a mixture of tiredness and irritation.

“Why won't you read it?” asked Dirk softly.

“Just, you know,” Todd made a vague hand gesture, “parents.”

“No, I don't know.”

Todd felt an instant stab of guilt in his gut. How entirely tactless of him. He groaned in frustration and snatched his phone off the counter where Dirk had left it, and opened the text that had been sitting in his inbox all morning.

“What does it say? What is it?” said Dirk eagerly, leaning over the counter.

“I knew this would happen,” muttered Todd bitterly, handing the phone off to Dirk who reached for it eagerly.

As Dirk read the text his face lit up with glee.

“Ooh, Christmas!” he said, using his forefinger to scroll down. “And look, I'm invited!”

“Well, not really,” argued Todd, pulling the phone back.

“Granted, I'm not a 'girlfriend', but I think I can safely say I'm the closest thing you've got,” said Dirk, delighted grin stretched across his face.

“Fuck this,” grumbled Todd, flinging the phone back onto the counter. “I can't deal with this now, I really can't.”

“Todd,” said Dirk, in a tone that suggested he thought what he was about to say was entirely reasonable. “Surely you're going to have to see your parents at some point. You can't avoid them forever, that would be ridiculous.”

Todd sighed, wishing he could just sink into his boiling hot coffee and not resurface until way after Christmas.

“'Tis the season to be jolly, after all-ooh! I could buy them a slow-cooker! Is that what significant others do for their parents-in-law? I'm sure it is.”

Todd sent Dirk a deathly glare.

-

“Did mum send you a text?” said Amanda over the phone instead of the customary 'hello'.

“Yes,” said Todd, curtly. It was later in the same day. Dirk had left the flat on some 'errand' that would doubtlessly lead to trouble, but Todd was not in the mood and was sulking alone at home.

“Are you bringing Dirk?” she asked, and Todd could hear her teasing smirk.

“Are you bringing the Rowdy Three?” countered Todd, his tone snarky.

“Don't be ridiculous, Todd. Our parents still think I'm mostly sane, and I need them to continue to think that.”

“I can't bring Dirk,” said Todd, defeated.

“Why?”

“You know why. I just can't have him and our parents in the same room.”

“Don't you think that might hurt Dirk's feelings just a bit?”

Todd paused. “Fuck's sake. What do I do.”

“You stop being such a pussy and bring Dirk to the Brotzman Christmas, Todd. You need to stop thinking about just yourself, you're two people now, whether you like that or not.”

The words were harsh and Todd was a little taken aback. He hung up on his sister with a loud “Ughh!”.

This couldn't possibly end well.

-

It was cold. The proper, winter coldness that sank deep into your bones and left you feeling numb and aching in your toes. Todd tucked his fingertips into his armpits, making no effort to hide his discomfort on his face.

Which bastard thought that markets outside in the middle of winter were a good thing? Todd scowled at the festive fairy lights hanging from the small wooden huts. Was it the Germans? Probably.

“Todd, Todd!” yelped Dirk with glee, pulling his coat sleeve to bring him closer to the stall he was intensely examining. Todd should have known that Dirk was an insufferable christmas-shopper.

“This one's lovely,” Dirk said earnestly, holding a soft, purple scarf carefully between his fingertips. “Does your mother wear scarves? I should think so, most people do.”

“Dirk, you really don't have to-”

“Of course I do, Todd,” scoffed Dirk, moving on to look at a red and yellow woolen scarf. “Does this one look too much like a Gryffindor scarf?”

“A what?” asked Todd, absentmindedly, wondering if it was too early in the day for a hot cup of mulled wine.

Dirk looked aghast. “A Gryffindor scarf, Todd. You see the yellow and red?”

“Er, I never watched those films, to be honest.”

“How on earth did you manage that? Literally everyone has seen the films, Todd. Even I have and I was in a government-run prison for supposedly psychic individuals for most of my childhood.”

Todd saw the man running the scarf stall look up in sudden alarm at Dirk's words.

“Look, Dirk,” said Todd, cutting Dirk off. “It really doesn't matter. Just buy any scarf, and let’s go, I'm freezing.”

Dirk looked at him for a moment, thoughtfully. “You,” he said, decidedly, “are grumpier than usual.”

Todd floundered just enough before answering that Dirk turned away and approached the man behind the scarf stall, purchasing the purple scarf he had originally spotted. He returned with a satisfied smile, clutching the plastic bag with both hands.

“Come on, my little Slytherin, let's get you a coffee,” said Dirk, leading the way to Todd's favourite coffee shop.

-

“Is it me you're annoyed at?” asked Dirk, bluntly. His long fingers were cupped around a large mug of hot chocolate, opposite to where Todd was holding his own drink.

“I'm not annoyed,” lied Todd, taking a sip from the too-hot coffee, pretending it didn't burn his tongue a little bit.

“Okay,” said Dirk, apparently ready to accept it as that. Now Todd felt bad for lying.

“It's just...” Todd started to say, not entire sure how he was going to continue that sentence. Dirk looked at him, listening intently. It was rare that Todd had Dirk's undivided attention like this, and he was aware that Dirk would be analysing each word Todd said.

“It's just my parents,” said Todd, carefully. “And you.”

Todd stopped talking.

“That is definitely not an explanation. It wasn't even a proper sentence, Todd.”

Todd frowned.

“My parents, and you, are two very different parts of my life,” continued Todd, trying desperately to put his discomfort at the hypothetical situation into words. “Two parts that I honestly can't see successfully fitting together.”

“Is that my fault?” asked Dirk, so fragile in his open honesty.

“No, Dirk, no,” assured Todd, looking away from Dirk. “They're the problem, not you.”

“Well,” sighed Dirk, “I suppose that's something.”

Todd realised that was quite funny. He grinned at Dirk, amusement replacing the awkwardness in his eyes.

-

“Are you nervous about tomorrow?” Dirk whispered into the dark. Todd had been almost asleep, verging on tipping over into that blissful nothingness. Dirk's words pulled him back sharply.

“Yes, obviously, Dirk,” snapped Todd, pulling the duvet closer to his chin and rolling further away from Dirk. 

This did not deter Dirk, who simply moved closer until they were both on the very edge of the bed. Long arms snaked around Todd's waist as Dirk pressed against Todd's back, a cold nose burrowing into Todd's neck. Dirk didn't say anything, just held the other man tightly.

There was a moment of silence.

“Not everything can be resolved by spooning, Dirk,” muttered Todd, the fondness evident in his quiet voice.

“It definitely can. You can trust me, I'm psychic.”

“I have it under good authority that you are not, in fact, psychic.”

Dirk held on a bit tighter.

-

Todd woke up a bit too early the next day, glaring at the string of tinsel Dirk had wrapped around the curtain rail, reminding him what today was. Todd wasn't necessarily the most festive of blokes, but he had never woken up on Christmas day with such a feeling of dread that he woke with now.

Accepting that he would likely not be able to get back to sleep, he extracted himself from the tangle of blankets to head to the shower, leaving a heavily asleep Dirk behind him. Todd paused to look back at him. Slack face and soft hair, he looked positively angelic in the soft morning glow. Todd was momentarily taken aback by how lucky he was. Stupid feelings, making his heart go all funny, thought Todd sourly.

By the time Todd got out the shower Dirk was still sound asleep. Todd was very careful to not wake him as he pulled on clean clothes and three jumpers to combat the chilly air of the flat. It was so often that nightmares and memories plagued Dirk's sleeping hours since his recapture, that Todd had made it his mission to get this man as much sleep as he could.

Todd shuffled out into the kitchen, quietly preparing coffee and toast. He put the kettle on, ready for Dirk's tea. Maybe he could bring Dirk breakfast in bed? As way of an apology for his recent grumpy behavior. That was a nice thing that people did for each other, right?

Dirk was, unsurprisingly, delighted.

“I don't think I can ever have anyone else make me tea,” he declared, voice a little rougher from sleep, cradling the mug of milky tea. “This is the most perfect tea I've ever had. From now on, whenever I want tea you shall just have to be there to make it.”

Todd smiled, almost adoringly, at the other man. Dirk's hair was a mess and there were creases on his cheek from the pillow. Todd schooled his expression into something a bit more Todd-like, feeling too much like a romantic fool.

Dirk leant closer to Todd, pressing a soft kiss to his stubbled cheek.

Todd definitely didn't blush.

-

“What are you wearing?” asked Todd in vague alarm as Dirk emerged from the bedroom.

Dirk looked down at himself

“Clothes?”

Dirk was in fact wearing clothes. One of the garments he had chosen, however, was a large knitted Christmas jumper. It was clearly a size too large, the neckline falling sloppily and the sleeves turned up at his wrists.

“Where did you get that?” asked Todd, wondering why he hadn't seen it until this very moment.

“Farah bought it for me,” replied Dirk with glee, doing a little spin. “Isn't it fab?”

“It's very...you,” Todd settled on saying, taking in the colourful knitted pattern.

Dirk grinned, turning to grab his jacket from where it had been thrown over a chair. Todd was already dressed and ready to leave, so he watched Dirk struggle to put his jacket on over the thick jumper and tried not to let his burning anxiety take over.

This was a horrible idea. What if his family were rude to Dirk? He wasn't so much worried about his mother, but his father was so incredibly set in his ways, and he had certain expectations from his children. None of them Todd had been able to deliver on.

“Maybe we shouldn't go,” said Todd suddenly, as Dirk was sitting on the floor to tie his shoelaces.

Dirk looked up with a frown.

“We can pretend you got sick or something,” Todd was now blabbering. “I'm sure no one would mind, and then we can just stay here and it'll be great.”

Dirk rose to stand, his height suddenly quite obvious. He placed his hands on Todd's waist and leant forwards so their foreheads touched.

“It's going to be fine,” said Dirk, a soft smile on his face. “I have a hunch,” he added with a small, amused shrug.

“It might not though, that's the problem, Dirk.”

“Then we'll deal with it,” replied Dirk, as though this was obvious. “We've gone through worse things, and we're still here.”

This was all very reasonable, but Todd couldn't shift the look of despair from his face.

Dirk moved closer, bringing his hands up to cup Todd's face instead. His hands were a little cold against Todd's cheeks, but he didn't really mind. Dirk leant closer to press a firm kiss against Todd's mouth, as though he was trying to pour his reassurance into Todd.

Dirk pulled away slightly, pressing light kisses to Todd's cheeks and the tip of his nose before letting his hands fall and standing up straight. He held his hand out for Todd to take, before pulling him out of the door to where their taxi was waiting. 

-

Todd's anxiety was at full peak once their journey had taken them to his parents' front door. He was somehow freezing and also sweating, which was delightful. Dirk watched silently as Todd took a deep breath and knocked on the navy blue door.

“I apologise in advance for whatever happens over the next couple of days,” mumbled Todd quickly before the door opened.

“Todd, it's fine I-oh hello, Amanda!” Dirk finished the sentence with delight, as Todd's sister opened the door.

“Dirk!” Amanda responded with equal enthusiasm. “You're here!”

“Well, yes. As are you,” replied Dirk, nodding and grinning.

Amanda shot Todd a smile, one of the most genuine ones he'd ever seen on his sister. At least Todd could be certain of her support, regardless of how his parents reacted.

“Oh, just a warning, Todd,” said Amanda suddenly, lowering her voice and leaning forward. “Dad's in a bit of a mood. He forgot to buy stuffing for the Turkey, and now all the shops are closed, you know, Christmas and all, and now he's claiming that Christmas is ruined and-hey mum! Look who's here!”

Amanda's hurried words were cut off by the approach of a woman, just shy of Amanda's height, a bright smile on her round face.

“Todd, dear,” she said warmly, pulling her son into a hug. “And this must be...”

“Dirk Gently,” said Dirk, holding out a hand for Todd's mum to shake. “It is such a pleasure to meet you, Mrs. Brotzman.” If he was nervous at all, it didn't show.

Todd's mum looked at his outstretched hand in slight surprise, reaching out to shake it with her own. “Oh, call me Melanie, dear.”

Melanie ushered them all inside, into the delightful warmth that Todd only ever experienced in his parents' house. He wasn't sure when this place had stopped being home, and when the small, cold flat he shared with Dirk had become home.

“Now, Dirk, you really must tell us all about yourself,” Melanie chattered, leading the gang into the living room and pushing them onto the lush sofas. Todd vaguely registered that himself and Dirk had been separated by Amanda. “Todd hasn't told us anything at all, really.”

“I'm a detective,” said Dirk proudly, as though that was all anyone needed to know.

“A really good one!” enthused Amanda.

“Oh,” said Melanie, “you two know each other as well, then?”

“Oh yes,” said Dirk with a serious nod. “In fact, Amanda has been crucial to our last few cases, especially the one where she correctly identified this map thingy as one of the ones with all the power lines on, that otherwise, I fear, would have left us quite stumped.”

“I see,” said Melanie, though she quite clearly didn't. “I didn't realise Amanda was involved with...all of this.”

“She's not, not really,” Todd hurried to say, plastering an alarmingly fake smile on his face.

“Oh come now, Todd,” said Dirk, “Don't short-sell your sister, she's very good at throwing herself in front of bullets-”

“Figuratively,” Todd cut in, once more. “Figuratively throwing herself in front of bullets. There are no actual bullets...happening.”

Amanda threw an amused look at Todd. As did Dirk. Melanie still looked uncomfortable and startled. This was when Todd and Amanda's father decided to treat them all to his presence.

“Hey dad,” said Todd, not sure if the dread of seeing him outweighed the relief that the current conversation was brought to an end.

“Son,” was the reply he received, along with a small nod of the head.

“Oh hello, Mr. Brotzman,” said Dirk cheerfully, jumping to his feet, hand already extended. “I'm Dirk Gently.”

Mr. Brotzman approached Dirk as you would approach a potentially dangerous wild animal. Cautiously. He shook Dirk's hand, letting go far too quickly.

“Okay, then,” replied Mr. Brotzman brusquely, not making eye contact.

“Oh Bert, do sit down,” said Melanie, bustling her husband into an armchair. “Todd was just telling us...well...he was talking about what he's been up to...er...recently.”

“Oh?” was all Bert said, dropping his stout frame into the squashy armchair.

There was a tremendous, lengthy silence. Amanda was the only one that moved, fidgeting with her sleeve and opening her mouth a couple of times, before apparently thinking better of it and closing it again.

“Do you support any teams, Dirk?” asked Bert, throwing the question at Dirk with a blank expression, something Dirk interpreted as some kind of test.

“Er...”

“Football?” was the only hint Bert threw him.

Everyone turned to look at Dirk, who was sat on the edge of his seat, hands clasped on his knees, his expression one of slack bewilderment. Todd could almost hear the cogs and engines in his brain working full time.

“I don't think...English football is quite the same as-” Dirk began to say, waving his hands wildly.

“Dad-” Todd also began to say.

“I'm just asking questions, Todd,” huffed Bert, grumbling to himself quietly. Todd distinctly heard the phrase “prissy British boys” leave his father’s lips and he shot an apologetic look to a confused-looking Dirk.

“We should probably take our bags upstairs,” Todd said, a bit too loudly, standing up a but too quickly. “Come on, Dirk.”

“Oh yes, that's a fantastic idea,” added Melanie, “Amanda, why don't you go with them.”

Amanda rolled her eyes, “Yes, I'd love to chaperone these two completely adult humans.” 

Todd pulled Dirk up off the sofa, ignoring the way both his parents stared at their joined hands as they left the room. Todd did drop Dirk’s hand to pick up their bags, but didn’t miss the small, pleased smile that Dirk threw him. Perhaps Dirk thought that Todd would not be so affectionate in front of his parents, but Todd was determined not to feel like he had to lie about his relationship. He had hidden enough from his family, Dirk was not something he was going to hide. 

“They’re not usually this weird and awkward,” said Amanda, leading the way upstairs.

“That’s alright,” piped up Dirk, following Amanda closely, eager to see Todd’s childhood bedroom. “I’ve been told I’m a lot to get used to.” 

Todd frowned at this. Mostly because he knew he was the one to give Dirk that impression. 

“Now,” Amanda turned to the two of them on the landing. “You two behave yourselves, no funny business.” She mockingly wagged her finger and then skipped off down to her own room. 

“I’m just dying to see angsty teenage Todd’s room,” said Dirk gleefully, gesturing that Todd lead the way. 

Todd rolled his eyes and lugged their bags into the nearest room.

Todd was always taken by surprise by how small it was. Had he really needed all those posters? What were in all those boxes under the bed? He had no idea. Probably best to just leave it. 

Todd let himself fall onto the bed. That had possibly been the most awkward half hour of his life. He was an adult now, a full on adult, and yet he still let his parents get to him. They weren’t even being overtly rude, well his mother wasn’t anyway, but that was somehow worse. At least if they had directly shown their dislike towards the situation he could have stormed out and taken Dirk back home with him. 

“Oh my God, Todd,” exclaimed Dirk, nose almost pressed to his bookcase. “Is this you?” 

Dirk swirled round, a crumpled old photo of him and a tiny Amanda in his hand. Todd lifted his head from the bed long enough to look at the photo before dropping it back down again. 

“Yeah,” he replied, lacklusterly. “I must be like 12 in that photo or something.” 

“You were so smiley,” said Dirk softly, fondly, almost a little wistfully. Todd scowled at him to prove a point. “Were you happier then?”

Todd thought about this.

“I dunno, maybe,” he said, considering. “Isn’t everyone happier as a kid?”

Dirk didn’t reply. He put the photo back onto the shelf, careful not to get fingerprints on it. This was pointless, the photo was old and creased and dusty, but the gesture was nice. 

Todd watched Dirk. He was still staring at the bookshelf, as though determined to read every book title. That wouldn’t take too long, Todd didn’t have a huge number of books. There wasn’t enough room for any between all the piles of CDs and old cassettes that he couldn’t even play anymore. 

It was too quiet in the tiny little bedroom. 

Todd stood up. 

“Dirk,” he called softly. 

Dirk turned to him and Todd stepped forwards and wrapped his arms around the man’s waist. Dirk reacted immediately, gathering Todd up into a firm hug. The ridiculous christmas jumper that Dirk still wore was soft against Todd’s face, and the instinct to bury in deeper was not ignored. 

“Your mum seems very lovely,” said Dirk, ruining the calm stillness. 

“Mum’s alright. She was always very concerned with how my previous….partners...perceived her,” Todd mumbled against Dirk’s chest. “She’ll calm down though.”

Dirk ran his hands over Todd’s back, a little too erratically to be entirely comforting, but it was nice. 

“Sorry about my dad, though,” continued Todd. “He’s best just left alone.”

“At least Amanda likes me,” said Dirk, cheerily. Todd wasn’t even sure if it was a forced cheeriness. 

“Amanda likes you more than she likes me,” snorted Todd. 

There was a beat of silence. 

“I like you, Todd,” said Dirk with genuine reassurance. 

Todd smiled, head tilted slightly up to face the taller man. “Thanks, Dirk.”

There was the faint sound of Todd’s mother calling to them up the stairs. 

“I think my other terrible relatives have arrived.”

“You are entirely the most pessimistic person I have ever met. I hope you know that.”

Todd frowned. 

-

Christmas dinner was a chaotic jumble of many many dishes, and many many people. Bowls were being passed precariously through the air as paper hats fell into the gravy. Melanie Brotzman was talking loudly and with great excitement to whoever would listen about her latest pottery class, while Bert Brotzman carved the Turkey with the precision and delicate touch of a surgeon performing life saving surgery. 

In the midst of the cacophony of shouts, sat Dirk Gently, happily squeezed between Todd and a younger cousin who had a lip ring and a small child on her lap.

“Hold her for a second?” requested the said cousin, handing off her child to Dirk before reaching for the potatoes. 

“Todd,” Dirk leaned into whisper. “I appear to be holding a very small child.”

The child in question chose that moment to slap mashed potato onto Dirk’s cheek. 

It wasn’t until after dinner when all the plates had been cleared away and babies were sleeping and everyone was too full to move, that people turned their attention to Dirk. 

“Where are you from, Dirk?” asked an uncle, swirling a brandy between his fingers. 

“England,” replied Dirk with a bright smile.

“Marvellous,” was the reply. 

Dirk beamed. 

“How’d you guys meet?” asked the cousin with the lip ring.

“Er-” Todd hesitated. 

“I climbed in through his window.”

“That’s romantic...I suppose…” Melanie joined the conversation. Bert chose this moment to leave the table. 

“It really wasn’t,” assured Todd, grimly. 

-

Melanie had laid out the spare mattress on the floor of Todd’s room. Todd and Dirk stood and looked at it awkwardly before squeezing themselves into Todd’s childhood single bed. 

Todd was sure his mother had good intentions, but he was an adult for fucks sake. He had obviously slept in the same bed as his boyfriend before this moment. In some kind of silent protest, Todd snuggled in closer to Dirk. Dirk was delighted by this and immediately circled his arms around Todd to reciprocate. 

“That wasn’t so bad,” said Dirk, his voice just a touch too loud for the quiet room.

“Mmphf,” Todd grunted into Dirk’s neck. In a sign of appreciation, because Todd really didn’t do that enough, he pressed a soft kiss to Dirk’s jawline. “Thank you.”

“I didn’t do anything,” protested Dirk in pleasant surprise.

Todd didn’t reply, happy in the warm nest of blankets and limbs. He had very nearly slipped into sleep when Dirk said, “Do you think I’ll get the mashed potato out of my jumper?”. His tone was sad in its wistfulness. 

“We’ll wash it first thing when we get back,” promised Todd. 

“Okay,” agreed Dirk.

-

A moment of Amanda. 

The day after Christmas was famously the most lethargic of all the days. Amanda could hear soft chatter from downstairs. It was a far cry from her otherwise everyday, living in a van with four rowdy boys.

This was nice, but she knew she needed to be back soon.

She slipped out of her bedroom, still in her pyjamas. She was excited for a late breakfast. Christmas leftovers were almost better than the food on the day. Something about it being cold and mushed sloppily into a sandwich made Amanda very happy. 

She stopped by Todd’s room, raising her hand to knock obnoxiously before stopping herself, curiosity itching at the back of her mind. Instead, she quietly pushed the door open and peeked inside. 

The mattress and duvet on the floor was still perfectly made. 

There, in Todd’s small bed, were two fully grown adults. 

Ridiculous. 

Todd was buried into Dirk’s side, arm flung across his chest and fist curled up in Dirk’s t-shirt. One of Dirk’s arms was holding Todd close while the other was splayed out, drooping off the side of the bed. 

Amanda was ashamed to admit to the happy clench of her heart. 

Todd had made some bad decisions. He had lied and Amanda would maybe never entirely forgive him. But he was still her brother. People made mistakes. Todd was getting better, and she was certain it was because of Dirk Gently. 

Of course this moment was ruined when Todd woke up, saw her and told her to fuck off, his cheeks aflame with embarrassment. 

-

“Fucking sisters,” grumbled Todd, settling back down into the bed once Amanda had slammed the door behind her. He could still hear her laughing.

“Shh,” mumbled Dirk, eyes still closed. He was probably still asleep. His hand stroked Todd’s hair, as if lulling him back to sleep.

-

Dirk and Todd were the last people downstairs. This meant everyone turned to watch them, and this was entirely awkward and Todd hated it. 

Melanie offered to make teas and coffees for everyone, and Dirk immediately offered his services and his “superior tea knowledge” and followed her eagerly into the kitchen. Todd watched them disappear. He was somewhat relieved at his mother’s behaviour. She was clearly overcoming her initial surprise of everything that is Dirk Gently. 

Todd sat down, a little hesitantly, beside his father on the sofa.

The baby was on the floor, taking wobbly steps between various family members. This was apparently fascinating and was holding everyone’s entire attention. 

“Todd,” began his father, clearing his throat a little. “I wanted...to apologise for...well, for yesterday. I was simply surprised. I wasn’t expecting...well…”

This was possibly the most horrendously awkward moment of Todd’s life. 

Todd intended to just brush it off, sat it was fine and maybe hastily leave the room. 

Instead he said, “What exactly were you so surprised about?”

Bert made a few shapes with his mouth, no sound actually coming out. 

Todd raised his eyebrows.

“That I’m actually happy in a relationship for once?”

“Todd-”

“Is that not important enough that you felt the need to scrutinise over the fact that the person I chose is male, somewhat overbearing and honestly just a bit weird?”

“I just needed to get used to the idea, that’s all.”

That was a terrible response and they both knew it. 

“He makes me very happy,” said Todd, brutally honest in a way that he often was not. “That should be enough.”

He couldn’t imagine a better place to leave the conversation, so Todd got up to find someone else to talk to. Before he got very far, Dirk and his mother came back, a tray filled with tea cups and biscuits. 

“I made you a coffee,” said Dirk, pressing the warm mug into Todd’s hands. “Your coffee maker is scary.”

Todd pretended not to notice his father watching them, and smiled at Dirk, a nice, genuine smile. Todd liked to save those for special occasions. 

-

“Bye guys!” Amanda yelled from her bedroom window. “I’m literally going to see you like tomorrow probably, but I like making a scene to embarrass you! Okay, great, bye!”

“It really was lovely seeing you boys,” said Melanie, reaching up to adjust the collar of Todd’s coat. “And thank you for my scarf, Dirk. It really is lovely.”

“You’re very welcome,” replied Dirk, doing a strange little bow. “Thank you for letting me stay in your home, it was the best Christmas I’ve ever had.”

Melanie looked at Dirk with a flash of concern and bewilderment. 

“Oh, okay…”

“Bye, mum,” said Todd, quickly. He leant in to kiss her cheek. “I’ll be back soon.”

“You had better be,” she joked, but Todd knew she was entirely serious. He really wasn’t a very good son to his mother.

His father had been standing there silently throughout the exchange and chose this moment to clear his throat and address Dirk. 

“It was lovely meeting you, Dirk. I hope you shall also return...soon.”

“Thank you, Mr. Brotzman,” said Dirk, whose smile could not have been wider. 

Todd threw his father a wry smile. 

Todd was ready to go home. 

-

Todd sighed happily as they opened the door to their little flat. He shed his coat unceremoniously onto the floor and flung himself face first onto the couch. He heard Dirk close their front door and pick up his coat, neatly hanging it onto the wonky hook that Dirk had insisted he hammer into the wall. Apparently a hook was a better place for coats than the floor. 

Dirk then climbed over Todd and squidged himself down between Todd and the back of the sofa. 

Todd let this happen. 

“Do you want your christmas present?” asked Dirk, pulling Todd onto his chest. 

“Dirk, we said no christmas presents. I have no money, you have no money.”

“I didn’t spend any money on it,” he countered, almost...mischievously. 

Todd raised his head to look at Dirk, a tired wariness to his eyes. 

“What is it?”

“You have to close your eyes.”

Todd squinted suspiciously, but closed his eyes. He felt Dirk’s hands cup the back of his neck and gently encourage him to lean down. 

It was quiet for a moment. 

Suddenly Dirk blew a loud, wet raspberry onto Todd’s cheek.

“Ugh! Dirk!” Todd screeched, opening his eyes sharply, reeling back from the man underneath him. 

Dirk was laughing deliriously, his head thrown back against the arm of the sofa.

“You’re gross.”

“Am not,” argued Dirk, childishly. 

Todd was smiling, even though he didn’t mean to.

He was doing that a lot more, recently.

That was probably a good thing.


End file.
